Urge.

This week I've faced life in a different manner.

Might I say that I was not too happy by the time the results came out. Not because I was unhappy about the results, though. That is least of my concerns. I only wanted to be promoted as that is all that matters.

I was really unhappy because I get annoyed when people misunderstand me. Nobody will take me seriously in a heart-to-heart conversation for I tend to have an upbeat demeanour and a "bo-chup" face, which I find useful for stealthily gathering aural information. And so, I decided to reactivate myself to post stuff on this blog. As and when I sense that an action of mine needs to be justified, this is for all to see and discern for themselves.

Right from the beginning of the year, I resolved to only have simple ambitions, that is, such that I can sufficiently feed my family.

It so happened that the post-promo period was met with an internal conflict of moral, directional and emotional sorts. Might I reiterate that it has got nothing to do with my results. (I am indifferent towards it, until now, like my parents. No cause for celebration.) Nor was it PW, although something ugly was triggered then, but it is only due to the sudden unleash of all the emotional baggage thus far. And so, ironically, I felt lousy of myself, as if society does not value me anymore, as if people I know think I'm rubbish.

This perception changed after much reflection, catalysed by morning sunlight and boredom, at Sembawang Park. I suddenly felt that I am to impact society one day.

I used to have very big dreams. Those which people expect of me: politician, lawyer, diplomat and so on. I thought I would one day I would be able to do all that I want. But somehow, my self-esteem degraded since. However, apparently, teachers don't think so, but I still didn't realise. I thought they shared the same opinion as me. Until today when I looked at this:

My very recent change of perception of my destiny is only reaffirmed by the above which came a considerable period of time before.

God give me strength to deliver my responsiblities, show me the path of those whom you love, bless my family with good health.

Yes, the above is a wordly endeavour of mine, but to me, I do hope that this big thing I'll be doing will help my fellow Malays, help make Singapore great and most of all, do justice to the care showered by my family thus far.


P.S. Thank you, Shahir, for making me work my fingers and discern my actions even more.

Sleep. And 8 hours of it.

When asked how I got my results, I tell people I don't study much. People get annoyed; either they think I'm arrogant or it is just impossible to them. This intellectual myopia in itself annoys me. But it's true! However, it doesn't end there.

I find that I'm able to increase the efficiency of my studying time by maximising learning when you're not facing your books. This includes lectures, tutorials and the time spent answering nature's call. And all this boils down to sleep. And 8 hours of it. And almost religiously.

There's no denying that sufficient sleep makes you feel fresh early in the morning. You find it easier to arise, no matter how much you're gonna hate the day ahead. Because you feel fresh, there're little means for you to fall asleep during lecture and tutorial (unless it's in the afternoon, of course). Such is important as usually, the golden nuggets which makes one ace one's papers are usually revealed during lecture.

One may say that listening to the recording still does the job. I'm afraid not. Widely-received scientific studies show that only 20% of communication happens aurally. The rest happens through body language. While we certainly do not pay attention by these details, they are subconsciously processed by the brain to be effectively digested. Maybe it's the eyes, the hand gestures or stature which adds impact to the message albeit subconsciously. So why remove this 80% of learning aid?

Another thing that freshness allows one to do is think. 4 hours of sleep will make even walking a chore. During tutorials and lectures you can't be bothered about anything's that going on. Then you tell yourself that you're going to recap at home or some time after lesson. Here comes the big academic evil: procrastination! You simply forget about the lesson. If not, you become simply too tired or bogged down by other work by the time you remember. Worse still, studies show that that retention ability diminishes with time. And that's why you have to mug last minute, cramming as much information in an unsorted, unlogical manner which you can't almost totally appreciate.  You go for consultation only to ask questions already answered during lecture/tutorial. Because you have so much to cover, you can't afford to sleep. Then you can't focus duing exam. Then you go into depression, leading to insomnia. No sleep at all!

The above clearly shows the academic viscious cycle which is all to blame on insufficient sleep. Conversely, early, sufficient sleep contributes to a virtous academic cycle.

You can receive information, process them and link them. This is especially important for any subject. Chemistry is one subject with no room for compartmentalised thinking to ace in it. With a clear mind, these links can be drawn during lectures themselves. It makes you stay awake. It encourages higher order thinking. For the arts, linking is the essence for forming solid arguments.

Thinking can happen on the way home. Or on the toilet. Or while eating. Start with DUH! questions first. At least it keeps you engaged stuff you need to know and APPRECIATE. This is hiw you don't have to spend time.mugging. Mugging time is only to boost details and strengthen the links, NOT to receive new information. Only then will consultations be productive. Last moments before exam are to be spent appreciating and processing information. This way, the content that needs to be known becomes a given.

By now, you realise that all these requires one to be alert, hence requires sleep. Sleep full length, leave the work behind and catch up with them when you wake up fresh. You need less time doing them as you think better. Give it your all in school and you can go home and "nua". Well, that's at least what I do...

Besides, people comment that my face has a perpetual freshness. It's easier for you to smile! Why not stop being the passive "sian" one and be the active smile-inducing party instead?! So sleep.

My results are not the best set but I can assure you this was done by seeking ways to increase the time-for-grades value, noting that I hold three CCAs and an ageing family which I would have to feed very soon.